Thursday, February 19, 2009
2:07 PM
i stayed up all night.
thinking through my worries and fears.
i watched myself go through various paths.
i was reflecting hard. from the people i've met, to the ones i have let down.
here i am in self pity.
thinking that i could have done much more. or wouldnt have done certain.
what am i left with at the end of this day?
i am confused, i am depressed. i am lost. i am helpless.
who will come to save my day?
i am fearful now, of losing the ones i never treasured in the past.
the ones who helped me beyond their limits.
i am a jerk. i am a bastard.
and i am only human.
god drowned me in a pool of regret.
is this my karma?
i shouldn't have turned my back against this world. i shouldn't have fought so hard for my own feelings. i should have looked around me, and notice the ones who were there with me.
i am nothing. i have nothing.
i sold my soul to the devil.
this life is a living hell.
Friday, February 13, 2009
12:21 PM
Happy Valentine's Day My Love.
Monday, February 9, 2009
3:30 AM
how do one describe the feeling of being looked down at by a close relative?
everytime there's a time alone with them, they just throw your dreams and hopes away by telling you to be practical or realistic.
they claim they want the best for you. but do they know what they are actually doing by the lil conversations and words they have inflicted in our hearts?
no matter how much you thought you have achieved, and no matter how proud you are of yourself, they just make you feel small.
i am sorry i didnt go to poly and university like your precious son did. i am sorry i am not as smart to do all that he has done.
you know what? whatever. i am beginning to hate my relatives.
i don't even wanna prove anything to you. i don't even want to have anything to do with you.
no one is good enough unless we are your children.
fuck spiders.
