Thursday, January 29, 2009
10:02 AM
Chinese new year this year was pretty different.
This festive mood every year usually starts like a week before the actually day. But strangely i only felt it on the day itself. Just didnt feel like the usual CNY.
Had reunion dinner on eve, played mahjong and cards at ivy's till late. Crazy enough to have steamboat at 4 in the morning.
Day 1 of CNY was busy busy busy, had alot of fun though.
Day 2 wasn't too rush. Red packets wasn't as much. hehehe
in short, CNY was great.
I'm glad you have found yr path, and i am happy to play a part in it.
There were many things left unspoken months ago, alot of feelings not shown.
But there were promises i made to myself, and now it seems like i have fulfilled them within myself.
I wanted to walk through this hardship with you. And now i've. Things are slowly getting in place for you. I'm truely happy for you.
I can say i have done my job, returned all the karma i owed.
Certain things i have to let go, though its hard, and slowly eating me up inside.
But its time for you to show me the way, give us a path.
Because the journey i have set, has ended.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
2:51 PM
Have you ever felt u were taken for granted by someone you did that much for?
I tried my best to make things comfortable.
All you should have done was to call and tell me you couldn't make it.
I waited for hours, that's fine because i'm pretty much used to it. But could you have the basic courtesy to apologise? You knew i was waiting, and you didn't bother to given get back to me.
U fucked me up, just because you were tired.
Its like, the world must revolve around you.
Think back, think hard. You have changed. Changed into someone i can really hate at times.
Once again, i don't think i deserve all these shits.
I really am tired whenever you behave like a bastard.
Don't push me anymore.
I can't forget the scars. Please don't inflict more wounds.
You know what reunion dinner means to me? You know what it means when my mum opens her mouth to invite you? I don't think you care. And i won't bother. Because i always know the answer. The chances of you giving in, is like winning the lottery.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
1:35 PM
Crossroads.
4 directions.
Accidents, death, rollercoasters, happiness.
We've chosen our paths.
Sometimes there's just no turning back no matter how much we yearn for the previous route, which was easiler.
Too often at times. We search for an answer for everything. Then again, the answer is not always there. And when we found one. We just couldn't accept it, because it isn't what we wanted to hear.
There's no right or wrong, there's just what we made it to be.
Just stop to listen. When u think the whole world's turning their backs on you... Look back, and u might realise you are the one who turned your back against this world that doesn't satisfy you.
I personally think, at the end of the day. All answers are a comfort, a feeling we get so we can sleep at ease at night.
We came to life with nothing. And we will leave this earth with again, nothing.
Pretty much life's a bitch. But we have to find a purpose and meaning to live. Otherwise we'll be fucked throughout this journey.
I don't owe my life to anyone.
I'm still trying to rest with my Answers.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
12:08 AM
hello!
hmmm, gonna paint my room later. brown with gold highlights.
hehehe so excited. my room will bound to blind some eyes.
family politics. getting too serious. getting to painful to listen, or know.
i will just act bodoh.
omg ken's birthday is next week, i dunno what i can get her like seriously.
and tmr, i am invited to zirca. welcome party to the tattoo convention. wonder if i should go.
hmmm...
i haven't bought tickets for the convention. gosh. everyone is going.
don't feel like giving it a miss.
will be such a pity.
okay enough crapping.
tata~
Monday, January 5, 2009
7:01 AM
at times, the words he wrote, still flashes through my mind. everytime that happens, it feels a knife stabbing through my chest.
the scars runs deep, the wounds are fresh. your lies are my comfort.
i tried playing the good guy, i loved with my all. ended up losing this game.
i guess we all seek the thrill. and i think i am not your thrill.
i wish to close this chapter. though there's so much more ups and downs to write.
but, there's still so much ifs.
i am at lost once again.
and no directions given from u.
it feels like a one sided thing.
i feel pain. pain u can never see. pain u can never feel. is this what i deserve?
this feels like a nightmare.
