Friday, March 13, 2009
1:02 PM
ouch ouch ouch.
this hurts.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
8:51 PM
I don't understand
You look just like the man
In the picture by our bed
The suspense is pounding and clouding up my head
I'm checkin' your clothes
And you wear the same size shoe
You sleep in his spot
And you're driving his car
But I don't know just who you are
There's a stranger in my house
It took a while to figure out
There's no way you could be who you say you are
You gotta be someone else
'Cause he wouldn't touch me like that
And he wouldn't treat me like you do
He would adore me, he wouldn't ignore me
So I'm convinced there's a stranger in my house
Now show who you are
Don't see your shadow around when you walk
You leavin' no kisses
Goodbye with no words
If these walls could talk
They would have nothing to tell
So what could it be?
Is there someone imitating me?
Could she be taking my place?
Look me in the face
And tell me that I'm wrong
When I say...
There's a stranger in my house
It took a while to figure out
There's no way you could be who you say you are
You gotta be someone else
'Cause he wouldn't touch me like that
And he wouldn't treat me like you do
He would adore me, he wouldn't ignore me
So I'm convinced there's a stranger in my house
Pop quiz
Tell me where we first kissed
Tell me where my spot is
Tell me if I liked it, loved it
Or could it be
That the stranger is me
Have I changed so drastically?
Is it I want more for me?
And you remain the same
There's a stranger in my house
It took a while to figure out (It took a while to figur it)
You can't be who you say you are
You gotta be someone else
'Cause he wouldn't touch me like that
And he wouldn't treat me like you do
He would adore me, he wouldn't ignore me
So I'm convinced there's a stranger in my house
There's a stranger in my house (whoo)
It took a while to figure out (took a while to figure out)
You can't be who you say you are
You gotta be someone else
He wouldn't touch me like that
And he wouldn't treat me like you do
He would adore me, he wouldn't ignore me
I'm convinced there's a stranger in my house
Thursday, February 19, 2009
2:07 PM
i stayed up all night.
thinking through my worries and fears.
i watched myself go through various paths.
i was reflecting hard. from the people i've met, to the ones i have let down.
here i am in self pity.
thinking that i could have done much more. or wouldnt have done certain.
what am i left with at the end of this day?
i am confused, i am depressed. i am lost. i am helpless.
who will come to save my day?
i am fearful now, of losing the ones i never treasured in the past.
the ones who helped me beyond their limits.
i am a jerk. i am a bastard.
and i am only human.
god drowned me in a pool of regret.
is this my karma?
i shouldn't have turned my back against this world. i shouldn't have fought so hard for my own feelings. i should have looked around me, and notice the ones who were there with me.
i am nothing. i have nothing.
i sold my soul to the devil.
this life is a living hell.
Friday, February 13, 2009
12:21 PM
Happy Valentine's Day My Love.
Monday, February 9, 2009
3:30 AM
how do one describe the feeling of being looked down at by a close relative?
everytime there's a time alone with them, they just throw your dreams and hopes away by telling you to be practical or realistic.
they claim they want the best for you. but do they know what they are actually doing by the lil conversations and words they have inflicted in our hearts?
no matter how much you thought you have achieved, and no matter how proud you are of yourself, they just make you feel small.
i am sorry i didnt go to poly and university like your precious son did. i am sorry i am not as smart to do all that he has done.
you know what? whatever. i am beginning to hate my relatives.
i don't even wanna prove anything to you. i don't even want to have anything to do with you.
no one is good enough unless we are your children.
fuck spiders.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
10:02 AM
Chinese new year this year was pretty different.
This festive mood every year usually starts like a week before the actually day. But strangely i only felt it on the day itself. Just didnt feel like the usual CNY.
Had reunion dinner on eve, played mahjong and cards at ivy's till late. Crazy enough to have steamboat at 4 in the morning.
Day 1 of CNY was busy busy busy, had alot of fun though.
Day 2 wasn't too rush. Red packets wasn't as much. hehehe
in short, CNY was great.
I'm glad you have found yr path, and i am happy to play a part in it.
There were many things left unspoken months ago, alot of feelings not shown.
But there were promises i made to myself, and now it seems like i have fulfilled them within myself.
I wanted to walk through this hardship with you. And now i've. Things are slowly getting in place for you. I'm truely happy for you.
I can say i have done my job, returned all the karma i owed.
Certain things i have to let go, though its hard, and slowly eating me up inside.
But its time for you to show me the way, give us a path.
Because the journey i have set, has ended.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
2:51 PM
Have you ever felt u were taken for granted by someone you did that much for?
I tried my best to make things comfortable.
All you should have done was to call and tell me you couldn't make it.
I waited for hours, that's fine because i'm pretty much used to it. But could you have the basic courtesy to apologise? You knew i was waiting, and you didn't bother to given get back to me.
U fucked me up, just because you were tired.
Its like, the world must revolve around you.
Think back, think hard. You have changed. Changed into someone i can really hate at times.
Once again, i don't think i deserve all these shits.
I really am tired whenever you behave like a bastard.
Don't push me anymore.
I can't forget the scars. Please don't inflict more wounds.
You know what reunion dinner means to me? You know what it means when my mum opens her mouth to invite you? I don't think you care. And i won't bother. Because i always know the answer. The chances of you giving in, is like winning the lottery.
